Welcome to I Almost Served

So you Almost Served huh? Then this is the place for you hero! Don't be a bitch, say hello and tell us about yourself.
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Mooky Blaylock
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Joined: Tue Jun 30, 2026 10:16 pm

Welcome to I Almost Served

Post by Mooky Blaylock »

One day I decided I was going to be a Navy SEAL. A tough guy, hard ass. I was a 19 year old pothead who played video games and chased pussy. But I wanted something more. I wanted to be part of something bigger than myself. It was time to do something about it. I called a Navy recruiter and he told me to come in tomorrow anytime before 17:00 to talk more about it.

I had my days and nights mixed up so I smoked half an ounce of weed and did a lot of shots so I could pass out at around midnight. I set the alarm for 10:00 because I need my 10 hours. Back then I was broke and I didn't have a car so I had to walk the two miles to the recruiters office. After I had made it about half a mile it started raining. I hate being wet so I said fuck it and went back home and played CoD.

I never did make it to the recruiters office but I Almost did. I Almost walked in there and signed a SEAL contract. I almost kicked ass at BUD/S. I was almost the best.

Did you Almost Serve? If so then this is the place for you to live your truth. Because here, what you Almost did matters.
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John Zorn
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Joined: Tue Jun 16, 2026 8:13 am

Re: Welcome to I Almost Served

Post by John Zorn »

Hello everyone. Big John here. I have a similar story.

I have always wanted to be a Vietnam Ranger. I thought of the guys that did deep recon in the jungle and I wanted to be like them. Some guy told me that they still had a covert op group in the Army called the Vietnam Rangers. If you are going to enlist and go to war, you want to fight with the best.

I called the recruiter a few days after I got out of rehab. I told him I wanted to start off with something like the Vietnam Rangers and then eventually I would get selected by Delta Force, do that for like five years until the CIA recruited me and then I would basically be like Jason Bourne.

The recruiter lied and told me that there was no such thing as the Vietnam Rangers. He said if I wanted to be a regular Ranger (boring) I would have to sign up for a Ranger contract. He said first I would have to "make it through" Infantry School, and become an Infantryman. Then I would go to Ranger school. Be an Infantryman? Really? My goal was to be the next Jason Bourne I didn't want to be some fucking ground pounder.

I told the recruiter that I played football in High School so I should just skip to the Ranger course because the Infantry stuff would be a waste of my time. He didn't like that for some reason so I just left. He was annoying.

I Almost was the cream of the crop. The best of the best. And here I will get the recognition I deserve. Because I Almost Served. And here that means something.
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